Free Advice

I came across a shocking piece of click bait this afternoon while innocently scrolling through my Facebook feed. Apparently, a California woman ended up in intensive care after eating nacho cheese from a gas station that she had drizzled on Doritos. A few days after ingesting this God forsaken combination, she had to be rushed to the hospital. She was ultimately diagnosed with botulism, a rare but serious illness caused by bacteria that can lead to paralysis and even death.

First, let me say that I feel terrible for this lady and her family. I don’t know her prognosis and pray that she will be fine and go on living her life. No person should have to suffer through such circumstances because she randomly ate some bad cheese. I’d also bet that the gas station or the manufacturer of the cheese is going to have a lawsuit on their hands in the very near future.

With that said, here is my free advice.

One: Don’t eat nacho cheese from a gas station. Come to think of it, don’t eat anything labeled nacho cheese from anywhere. “Nacho cheese” is not cheese. There’s not even a definition of what it actually is. Also, don’t eat anything from a gas station that is not already in its package.

Two: If for some inexplicable reason you decide it is in your best interest to ingest nacho cheese, please, for the love of all that is holy, do not add insult to injury by smothering Doritos in it.

You’ve officially been warned. Proceed with caution.

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